Feels Like The First Time: Series
by ShadowsNLace
Summary: This is a series of one-shot stories of our beloved Bleach characters x Reader. I will be posting new stories as I write them. All the stories are sexually explict (aka smut). If you don't like that, please choose something else that you will enjoy, no need to be hateful. For the rest of my fellow Bleach lovers, come on in and enjoy yourself!
1. Chapter 1 (Jushiro Ukitake)

**Note:If you enjoy what I write, please don't be shy, leave a comment - even if it's just to say "Hi!" and that you had fun. I love hearing from my audience and knowing that I made you smile for a little while.**

 **My eternal love and gratitude got to FungusWitch for being such an inspiration as a writer and a person! Love you, lady! Also, lots of love to bleachfanficfanatic for being another awesome writer and for your encouragement at a time when I was on the fence about publishing. Thank you both from the bottom on my heart!**

 **Love and hugs to all the writers, you brave souls!**

 **Love and hugs to all the readers, you are the reason we write!**

 **Note: This was written for FungusWitch. Enjoy yourself, dear lady! Thank you for just being you! :)**

Chapter One – "Welcome Home" (Jushiro Ukitake)

It had been five years since he'd seen her. Now, standing on his doorstep he was afraid to speak or touch her. If he did she might disappear in a puff of smoke. She'd always been beautiful, but in this moment, she was achingly so.

Jushiro Ukitake shook himself mentally and whispered her name. "_?"

A bright smile dawned on her face, the rich hue of her eyes twinkling. "Surprise."

He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. _I'm not dreaming, she's really here!_ His thoughts were tumbling. "I missed you terribly," he whispered into her hair.

She squeezed him back, "I missed you very much, Jushiro."

Hearing his name on her lips sent a happy ripple through him. Her sweet voice was like rain on parched land. He leaned back to look down into her lovely face. His hands remained in her long locks, "You look so different with your hair long."

"I haven't had time for haircuts. Do you like it long?"

"It's beautiful," his smile was soft, "but then, you are always beautiful. It really isn't fair to us poor men that look at you and forget how to breathe."

She quirked a brow, a grin playing at her lips, "This from the man that smiles and reduces women to quivering puddles of goo?"

He laughed. "Come in. Would you like some tea?" He headed for the kitchen to make tea. She shut the door and followed him, taking a seat at the kitchen table. "How long are you planning to stay?"

"That depends on you, 'Shiro."

She suddenly had his full attention. "What do you mean?"

"I know you feel like I ran out five years ago…" She began.

He pinned her with an accusing glare, "You did." His voice held an uncharacteristic edge.

"I'm sorry. There was an important reason." She struggled to keep the quaver of emotion from her voice.

"Which you have yet to tell me in five years. All the letters you sent," he shook his head, "all the hope I've carried that one day you would come back."

Her voice was soft, "I'm here now."

"Are you going to explain yourself?"

"Yes."

The kettle whistled. He poured boiling water into a teapot. She could tell he was using the simple task to compose himself. The hurt she'd seen in his eyes was unbearable, more so because she knew it was her fault.

She waited until he served the tea and sat down at the table across from her. Her throat was suddenly dry, _what if he doesn't feel like I do?_ A sip of tea, a deep, steadying breath, _how do I even explain my absence?_

Jushiro watched _ wrestle mentally. "Is it really so difficult to say?"

Her eyes held his. "Not difficult, just jumbled up in my head. It seems like no matter how I try to explain, it will sound confusing or like I'm a crazy person, or both."

He was still hurting, she could see it his eyes. He wanted answers, he certainly deserved them. "Did our first kiss scare you that badly? Or, did you simply not feel as I did that night?"

She rounded the table and knelt next to him. She put her hands on his thigh, her face open and looking up into his. "It's because of what I felt for you that I left." He started to speak but she placed gentle fingers on his lips. "Please, give me a few minutes. I promise, I will tell you everything and why I didn't say anything until now."

He stood up.

She crumbled in on herself. She thought he didn't want her that close, that he couldn't endure her touch.

He held his hand down to her. When she put her small hand into his large one, he helped her to her feet. "It's a bit stuffy in here. I think we could both use some fresh air." He led her out to the back deck. The air was pleasantly cool and a nearly full moon was casting a silvery glow on the lake. This was where he had first kissed her five years ago – the night she left the Soul Society.

A large futon was laid out with lots of thick pillows. When Jushiro didn't feel well, he often laid out here. He sat down on the futon, guiding _ to sit next to him.

"When I left here five years ago I went to the Royal Realm to see my mother."

"She is Hannah, the royal healer, right?" He asked.

She nodded. "Yes. I asked her if she could help you."

"I was already healed by a god when I was a child. I doubt your mother could do anything to improve my health."

"My mother explained to me that the god that healed you bonded to you, that he is part of you. She told me the reason you continue to have bouts of illness is because the god is feeding off of your reiatsu. He has to to survive. When he feeds he cannot maintain the healing of your lungs. Once he has consumed enough reiatsu to maintain himself for a while, you get better."

"A bit disconcerting, but it makes sense."

"Mother said that there was a way to improve your condition, a way to allow the god to replenish himself from the god realm and not from your reiatsu. To make that possible, you would need a talisman connected to the reiatsu of the god realm."

His lightning fast intelligence was putting the pieces together. "You've been searching for one for the past five years, haven't you?"

She pulled a white cloth from her pocket. Unfolding it revealed an object of smooth, black stone. The shape was round with intricate lines that were so tangled there was no way for the eye to follow a path. "I found it three days ago. It took me that long to get here." She held the large coin-sized talisman in her hand. "After five years and three realms, I finally found this."

"You did all that for me?" His eyes were searching hers, "Why didn't you tell me all of this before?"

"I couldn't get your hopes up or let you talk me out of going after this. I had to follow this to the end, no matter where it led. If I was successful, then I could return with help for you. If I failed, then at least I was only dashing my hope, not yours." Her voice became a bit thick with emotion, "Jushiro, I knew from that first kiss that I love you with every fiber of my being. I _felt_ it, there was no denying it."

He pulled her into his lap, his lips capturing hers in a kiss that said, _I need you_ , without words. Her lips parted with a little whimper and his tongue swept in with a passion so raw it stole her breath away. His mouth was hungry on hers as if he were trying to make up for five years of lost kisses in one fell swoop.

He pulled back enough to look down at her, "I love you, _." He leaned his forehead against hers, eyes closed, drinking in her presence. "Please, don't ever leave me like that again."

She whispered, "Never again. You have my word." She sealed the promise with a soft kiss.

Jushiro looked down at the talisman in her hand. "Perhaps we should see if this talisman works."

She layed it in his hand. Upon contact, it flashed with a bright pulse of light and lifted a few inches above his palm. It turned a few times before shooting toward Jushiro's chest. They both only had time for a gasp before the talisman slammed into his left pectoral muscle, shredding through his kimono, and embedding there. It flared with a lavender glow, his eyes ignited with the same glow. A clap of power knocked him out and flattened _ to the futon.

When Jushiro woke up, his head was in _'s lap. She was stroking his hair and smiling down at him. "Well, hello, gorgeous man." That brought a smile to his lips. "How are you feeling?"

He sat up, a look of wonder taking over his face. He felt different, amazing. No dizziness, no weakness. He felt strong. "I – I feel incredible. I can't remember ever feeling this good." His looked down at the talisman, his fingers traced it. His gaze returned to her. "I saw him when I was out. He told me to tell you that he is grateful for your help."

She smiled at him. His look took on a predatory edge. "And now, my love," he moved over her, easing her back into the pile of pillows, "it's time I showed you my gratitude."

She layed down, long hair fanning out around her. He layed next to her, leaned over to kiss her. She caught his face in her hands before his lips could touch hers. His look was a bit confused, "Sweetheart?"

Her eyes held his, "The only expression of gratitude I want from you is for you to live your life healthy, strong, and happy." Her thumbs stroked his jaw, "And that will be an end to what has happened. From this moment forward, I want you to make love to me because you love me, not because you think you owe me. You don't owe me anything, Jushiro."

He touched her face, "You've given me a gift, _, more than I could have imagined." He traced her lower lip. "But, you've given me something far more precious – you've given me your heart. I promise to treasure you always."

Twin tears escaped from the corners of her eyes to run down her temples. The emotions welling up in her threatened to drown her. The last five years had been such a long, hard road. Now that it was over and she was safe in Jushiro's arms, the relief was overwhelming. She was still ragged around the edges.

He pressed a kiss to her temple, his thumb wiping the tear away from the other temple. "It's all right, my love, I'm right here." His lips were soft and comforting on hers, "You're home now."

Her eyes were searching his, a look of hope echoing. "Home? Truly?"

Jushiro knew how important this was for her. 'Home' wasn't a word she had ever used. Always moving with her mother from place to place, she'd lived like a nomad in her youth. When she got older and decided to become an archaeologist, she had again always been on the move as she spent most of her life in the field. To have a home, to be rooted, to have a family – this was her secret dream. A dream that he was determined to make come true for her.

He gave her a gentle smile, "Truly." His thumb rubbed her cheek, "No more wandering for you, _. You belong here with me."

She smiled up at him, "No more wandering, I'm home."

He kissed her deeply, their sounds of pleasure mingling with the night air. Their sighs mixed with the sighs of the breeze. Her little whimpers seemed to be echoed by the sweet song of crickets. The need and longing of five years was breaking free, every loving caress of his tongue against hers chipping away at their self-control. A moan as she arched into him made him seal the kiss so he could divest her of her clothes.

Left in her simple, white bra and panties, her lovely skin was a contrast. "I feel a bit plain. Had I thought the night might turn out like this, I would have worn prettier lingerie."

His voice was tight, "Another night, love, I'm afraid I don't have the will to keep my hands off of you."

The bra and panties were history, tossed aside and forgotten. He sat, staring at the beautiful lines and curves of her body. His gaze was heated as he took his time, enjoying the view and deciding where to start.

She propped herself up on one elbow and grabbed his obi with her toes. She pulled the belt loose, dragging it free of his kimono. "You were saying something about your hands on me?"

He grinned, shrugged off the kimono, and joined her on the futon. The feel of so much bare skin touching for the first time sent her senses into hyper-awareness. Everywhere his skin made contact with hers felt like little jolts of electricity.

A flurry of hands, lips, and tongues ensued as they both gave in to the need to touch and taste. Soft sighs and little moans filled the air each time a sweet spot was fondled, kissed, or licked. Neither one of them seemed to be inclined to cede to the other in their explorations. It was nearly a competition to see who could illicit the most pleasure from the other. They both enjoyed the unspoken game.

Jushiro kissed her leg, nipping behind her knee as his hands held her leg up for his attentions. _ shivered then reached for the nearest patch of his skin she could get her hand on. The way he was kneeling and the angle at which he held her, the nearest part of him that her hand could reach was his erection. The moment her hand closed around his velvety length, he went still, lips glued to her inner thigh as his eyes pinned her with a look full of warning. _Keep doing that and you're going to get it._

Not ready to escalate the situation, he turned her over onto her stomach. She made a sound of disappointment as the contact with him was broken, only to make a new sound of pleasure when he moved over her on his hands and knees. His hair flowed over her skin like a whisper, his lips burning a trail from the curve of her butt to the small of her back. She sucked in a breath through her teeth as tingling pleasure radiated from where he was licking and nipping at her skin. He took that pattern up her spine, sweeping her hair over one shoulder to give him access to her neck. By the time he placed the first kiss on her neck, she was arching up into him, squirming to make any kind of contact with the rest of his body. He eased down on top of her, holding his weight with his forearm. She layed flat on the futon as he covered her. Her head pushed back into his shoulder, a breathy plea on her lips.

"Jushiro, please, I can't take much more." Her body was humming beneath him, like electric currents running rampant under her skin. He could feel it against his chest along with her heavier breathing. He turned onto his side, taking her with him. Now, he had access to the rest of her body.

One hand held her throat, his fingers gently stroking both sides of her windpipe, feeling each breath as it was drawn in and then expelled. His lips were close to her ear, she could feel his breath when he spoke. "Patience, my love, I've had five years to think about making love to you. I plan to show you everything, tell you everything, even if it takes all night."

A tremor ran through her body as those words led her to a stray thought, _He's going to kill me. I'm going to be the first person to be listed as death by orgasms. But, what a way to go._ She reached back to touch his face as he kissed behind her ear, sending another tremor straight down her back. He lifted his lips to her hand, kissing her palm as his knee pushed between hers. He used that knee to pull her leg up and over his, laying her open for him, her core exposed to the cool air chilling the wet desire he'd stirred. His hand left her throat to stray down her body, stopping to caress her breasts and toy with her nipples. She undulated against him, trying to rub herself on his thigh. Any contact would do at this point. But, he kept her at an angle where her movements didn't get her anything, but gave him an erotic grind of her supple butt on his groin. "Hhnnggh." He growled then chuckled in her ear, "Would you like me to go lower?"

"Oh, gods, yes!" She was clawing at a pillow, trying not to turn that grip on him. As he turned her on her back, keeping her leg over him, she thought, _Finally! Some blessed relief!_ He didn't disappoint. His fingers slid over the curve of her sex, parting her outer folds so that her clit glided snuggly between two fingers. Her hips lifted into his touch, a groan of pleasure rumbling in her throat. "Jushiro…" His lips halted anything further she may have said.

He murmured against her mouth, "So soft…" before his tongue mirrored the motions of his fingers. When his fingers dipped into her, his tongue dipped in to tease the roof of her mouth. When he withdrew to circle and stroke her clit, his tongue circled hers then stroked. Over and over and over…he seemed content to do this all night. Every so often he would pull back to whisper to her with passion glazed eyes, telling how he loved her, how perfect she was, how he burned for her. She clung to him believing that it was the only thing that kept her from shattering to pieces to be carried away on the breeze. His rhythm was just enough to keep her climbing higher and higher. Until finally, he didn't stop or change pace, he watched her, knowing that he was going to drive her to that cliff and fling her over.

 _Tink…like the breaking of a delicate crystal glass._ Her body arched, head pressing back against his arm, her cry of release piercing the quiet of the night. His lips sucked at her throat, unable to resist indulging in the vibrations of her climactic cries. He kept his fingers buried deep, pulsing against the source of her orgasm wringing as many waves out of her as he could.

He felt the last spasms begin to fade. He removed his fingers, shifted, and moved over her. One slow, smooth stroke and he was wrapped in silken heat. Her eyes snapped open meeting his above her. "Oh, god, 'Shiro, yessss…" Slow, lazy thrusts let her feel every glorious inch of him as he moved in and out of her. He leaned over her, needing to draw her into him as much as possible. His mouth was hungry on hers, his body surging into hers as if he couldn't get close enough and needed more. Her hands were in his hair, massaging and lightly scraping his scalp and neck. He hummed in her mouth every time her nails grazed the base of his skull and down his neck.

She tried to fall into rhythm with him, but he would speed up and slow down at random. His pleasure came more from watching the build to her next orgasm surge and ebb, fueled by his body, his touch. Short, teasing thrusts followed by a long, deep one and a roll of his hips had her clawing at his back desperate for him to let go and just drive deep and hard.

He wrapped both arms around her and rolled onto his back. She didn't hesitate to sit up and take over. She sank onto him, completely taking him all until she thought she would burst. Her head fell back on a moan. It took a moment before she could focus beyond how utterly amazing it felt to have him so deep inside her. When she finally looked down at him, he had stuffed some pillows under himself and propped up to watch her. His hands were tucked behind his head, casual, as if he hadn't been driving her to brink of oblivion and back. The only glitch in the façade was the wild glint in his eyes. His passion was on slow burn for the moment, but those eyes promised a trip to a place beyond just physical pleasure…they promised ecstasy.

_ quirked a brow at Jushiro, "You look relaxed, shall I fetch you a cup of tea?"

He laughed and smiled at her, "Now, now, let's not – Nnnnngh!" She had clenched her inner muscles, pulled up, and then ground down onto him. "Oh, yes, my love, just like that…" But, she stayed very still. She leaned forward a bit so she could reach his broad shoulders. Lightly dragging her nails over his skin in shifting patterns made him start to shiver. The sensation was bordering on unbearable, but so pleasurable at the same time. She grazed his nipples and his breath stuttered, his eyes locked on hers. When she continued down to his stomach, he flinched and his cock jumped inside her, hitting the right spot to push a gasp past her lips. Her walls squeezed him involuntarily and he jerked toward her. She used his momentum to clasp him to her and drag her nails up his back in the same way. He writhed and shook in her arms, his hands buried in her hair as he panted into her neck, "_."

Her hands landed on his face, tilting it up for a deep kiss. She went still for a moment to focus on his mouth. He let her lead, following her caresses with his. Gods, how he loved the way she kissed. Loving and passionate, her kiss was setting his blood on fire and making him feel drunk.

Jushiro layed back on the pillows, bringing _ with him, he wouldn't break that kiss for anything. The end of the world could be upon them and it would have to wait until his beloved _ had finished with him. His hands on her hips helped her stay still while he braced his feet on the futon and thrust up into her. She moaned in his mouth and his eyes nearly rolled into his skull. Slow and deliberate he pumped into her, building those moans into mewls and groans. Finally, she had to drag her mouth away to whimper raggedly.

He looked down through the space between them and felt his throat clog at the sight. He held _ still, right at the brink of the tip of his erection inside her. He tucked her head down next to his so she could see. His voice was thick, "Look, _, look at where our bodies join."

She couldn't form a thought, she gasped, tightening on him. The lips of her sex were stretched around his shaft. With both hands, he pushed her down, both of them watching as he plunged into her. She bit down on the scream clawing at her throat. She lifted only for him to bring them together again. This time he paused to look into her eyes, "Have you ever seen anything so amazingly perfect?" His lips pulled at hers, a loving kiss before he returned his gaze to watching his cock work in and out of her. She dropped her head and watched too. Seeing and feeling him hitting home at the same time had her heart slamming in her chest. His jagged breaths were mingled with grunts and moans.

She was pulled so tight she thought she would snap in half. "'Sh – Shiro, I – aaaaah!" The wail that erupted from her probably reached all the way to the next district. For certain, it sent all the koi racing for the far side of the lake. She was spasming, unable to control her body or her voice. Jushiro held on. Her hips were wild, riding him hard, her muscles clenching and begging him to follow her. She reached a point where she wound down enough to focus on him. She bore down on him, her eyes burning into his and gritted, "Come…with…me, love." He lifted his hips, hard thrusts meeting hers. Her last orgasm never really ended, and now it blindsided her when he hit the same spot inside her over and over that had her seeing shooting stars and rainbows.

Jushiro's voice broke as he tried to say her name. His release washed over him like a giant wave crashing on the shore. An eternity seemed to be rolled up into that few seconds of unmitigated, blinding bliss.

A moment later, _ had gone silent and collapsed onto his chest. Her breathing ragged and aftershocks made her sound like she had the hiccups. He pushed her hair back over his shoulder and rubbed her ear with his thumb, his other fingers curled and rubbing her neck. They layed like that for a while, eyes closed and touching each other in soothing, loving comfort.

Eventually, he rolled her onto her back, reluctantly separating their bodies. A moment of loss assailed him, but he smiled because it seemed that he had rubbed _ into a post-coital coma. He opened a box near the futon. It had supplies for when he was ill which included hand towels. He used one to clean her up, trying not to chuckle when she layed there completely oblivious to what he was doing. He cleaned himself up too before pulling a warm cover over them both.

Feeling him settle next to her, _ curled into his shoulder. He kissed her forehead then shifted a bit to rest his cheek on her head. "Welcome home, _."

She put her hand over his heart and looked up into his loving gaze, " _This_ …this is home."


	2. Chapter 2 (Kensei Mugurma)

Chapter Two – "Happy Birthday" (Kensei Muguruma)

A year and a half. Had it really been that long since he'd met her? Somedays it felt like only a short time since she'd come into his life. Most days, though, it felt like he'd always known her.

Kensei Muguruma sat on his front porch with a stop watch. _ appeared around a corner a few houses down the lane. Jogging toward his house, her cheeks were a bit flushed and a few strands of her hair were sticking to her face from sweat. His gaze traveled over all the lush curves of her body…curves a man could spend hours exploring. He was tempted to make her run up and down the lane just so he could watch her lovely butt in those jogging pants.

She turned off the lane and into his front yard. She flopped down on the grass, arms flung out, and tried to catch her breath. Her shirt rode up bit, revealing her belly button and a soft curve to her lower belly. His eyes were drawn like ants to a picnic.

"You're almost six minutes off your last time," he tapped a finger on the stop watch.

"It's not – " she panted, "my fault."

"Really? Then who's fault is it?"

"Shinji." She took a deep breath as her breathing became more even. "He stopped me to talk."

"You should have kept running. You let your heart rate drop."

"Hey, be nice, it's my birthday."

"I'm well aware of what day it is." He stood up, "C'mon, I'll make us some breakfast."

"No thanks, I'll make something at home after I take a shower."

"Oh, no you don't," he put his fists on his hips, "the last time you said that, I caught you eating a donut."

"One time! You caught me _one time_!"

"Yeah, which makes me wonder about how much crap you eat when I'm not around." He said. "You're eating here. Now, c'mon, get off my lawn before I turn the hose on you."

She giggled and scrambled up to follow him into the house. Kensei was one hell of a cook. There was no way she going to miss out, but she didn't like feeling that he was always taking care of her. True, if it hadn't been for him, she would still be unhealthily overweight and stuck in the spiral of self-hate she'd been in when they met.

Inside, she sat at the kitchen table and watched him gather the ingredients for their breakfast. He was such a great man. She'd gotten to know him so well; he was her best friend, her coach, and a pillar of strength when she needed it. Memories swirled and she gave in, remembering how their friendship had begun and developed.

A year and half ago, _ had been out with a group of friends and literally run right into Kensei as he was walking out of a bar. She had hit his chest like a rubber ball thrown against a brick wall. All she had heard was a grunt that sounded like "Oi!" before she landed on her butt at his feet. An apology was on her lips until she'd looked up and seen him. Broad shoulders, bulging biceps, white hair, and that face – surely no face was more handsome than his. _Holy crap! It's Captain Muguruma!_

He'd held his hand down to her to help her up. She'd looked at it like he was offering her a live snake. If he helped her up, he'd get a good idea of how much she weighed. Shame burned her cheeks, but she took his hand for leverage – and because she wanted to touch him, even if it was only for a moment. He was a living, breathing fantasy come to life. _Sweet heaven, no man should be allowed to be that gorgeous!_

That first night had turned into a fun experience despite the initial jitters she'd had at the beginning. Kensei had joined their group and spent the evening being social. She'd often caught him staring at her. Why he would do that, she couldn't understand especially when there were so many beautiful, _slender_ women filling the room. Maybe he'd never seen a woman her size before. She spent nearly an hour teeter-tottering between being angry that he was gawking because she was odd, and blushing heatedly because his eyes were taking in her appearance with interest of a more personal nature. _There was no way this chiseled hunk is interested in me. Men like him go for thin women. Besides, I'd die if he ever saw me naked!_

A month later, Kensei had come across _ walking the lanes of the Seireitei. She had looked miserable. He had fallen into step with her, an action he nearly regretted when his question about what was bothering her led to a verbal bomb that ended in tears. She had unloaded everything in a rush…she hated herself, hated her body, hated how she physically felt. She had tried so hard to diet and exercise, but the progress was between slim and none, and slim had left town. The failures always led to comfort food and she would gain more than she'd lost. She was sick of the vicious cycle and wanted to change. Kensei had been gruff when confronted with her angst and tears, "Tch! Is that all?" He'd fidgeted, like he wanted to touch her, "Look, stop crying. I'll help you out." _He was a god-send that day. I don't know where I'd be now if it wasn't for him._

What followed next was both painful and liberating for _. Kensei had come to her house and gone through her fridge and pantry. She'd been flustered with shame as he went through all her food, throwing almost all of it away. He had stood, pulling items one by one, sometimes stopping to read a label before chucking it in the trash bin. His steady litany of "Crap… Crap… Crap. What the fuck is this? Crap… Crap… Crap," had very nearly sent her into another bout of shameful tears. Seeing him throw out her favorite ice cream had almost broken her. _Gods, I hated him in that moment. I wanted to fall on him like a screeching harpy and tear his eyes out._

Immediately after the cleansing of all the bad food from her kitchen, Kensei had taken her grocery shopping. He taught her what to look for on the labels, how to pick veggies and fruits that were ripe, how to find the best cuts of meat and fish, how to pick out fresh spices. She'd gotten an education that day, an eye-opening experience that had strengthened her will to change. He'd changed the way she looked at food. Eating healthy didn't mean she had to sacrifice the pleasure she got from food. He'd payed for the mountain of groceries they'd bought that day. When she had refused to let him, he'd given her a stern look and barked, "Who's the coach here? Me! You do what I say, remember?" They'd returned to her house where Kensei had re-organized her kitchen then sat her down to work up a menu for the week, complete with recipes. _I don't know why he bothered with the recipes. He either came to my house to help me cook dinner, or told me to come over to his place to learn how to cook a new dish._

Kensei had helped her overhaul her life. Between the good food and the exercise, she had slowly come out of her mental fog. At first, she'd had trouble with exercise and got discouraged. But, he wouldn't let her stop or slow down, he kept pushing even when she'd lost her temper and screamed obscenities at him. Her gift for foul language and the ability to string so many together in one breath had amused him. So much so that he would deliberately get her riled up and then wait for the creative cursing to begin. He always laughed, deep, belly jigglers that would only result in more saucy sarcasm and insults. _How many times have I said, "Fuck off, Kensei, you sadist! I'm not doing anymore push-ups!"? Too many to count. But, I always do more because he knows right where to stick a motivational jab, "Remember, you're doing this for yourself._ You _chose to make your life better, don't punk out now." I hear you, Kensei, I hear you._

"Hey!" Kensei barked, standing over her with a plate of food in his hand. "Quit daydreaming and eat your breakfast."

She enjoyed the aroma wafting up from the plate he set in front of her. "I was just thinking about when we first met."

He sat down across from her with his food. "You mean the night you threw yourself at my feet?"

She quirked a brow, "Visiting fantasyland again, are you?"

He grinned at her, then said, "Don't forget about tonight."

"How can I? You'll remind me again once we get to work, then again at lunch, then again…."

"Alright, I get it, brat."

When _ had begun to lose weight and her body shape had begun to change, she had been fired from the plus-sized boutique she worked for in the West Rukongai District 1. Her boss felt that she was no longer a good representative of the store. Kensei had been furious. He had given her a job at the Seireitei Communication as a junior editor. Very quickly he had learned that not only was she a decent editor, she was a closet writer. She had been timid at first when letting him see some of the stories and poetry she had written. He had liked her writing enough that he gave her small assignments for short articles. Now, finally, for this month's issue, he had made space for her to publish her own column with the condition that if it was successful she would continue to write it along with her editing duties.

-Two hours later- Kensei's office

_ stood in Kensei's office and handed over her story for the new column. He sat behind his desk, papers blocking his face, and began pawing around the desk for something. She knew what he was groping for and reached over to remove it. He pawed for a moment more before looking around. "Have you seen…"

She held up a red pen, "Your other sword? The one that slays well chosen words with one stroke?"

He smirked, "Cute, now, give it to me."

"No, you don't need it. I spent a lot of time on that, proofing and editing for hours. It doesn't need any red on it." She huffed and stuck his pen down her shirt.

His eyes followed, "What? You think I won't go after it?" He wiggled his fingers, "Gimme the pen."

She crossed her arms. "Tell me why you need it."

"You misspelled 'through'."

"What?!" She rounded the desk, "Where? Show me." She leaned over, the pen, lodged in her bosom, peeked out of the dip in her low collar.

He plucked the pen out of her cleavage and she squawked. "Thank you. Now back off and stop acting like a prima donna."

She sputtered, "Wh – what?! A…" She growled, "I am _not_ a prima donna!"

"I didn't say you were, I said you were acting like one." That did it, she left the room. He sighed when the door closed. "Finally! Nothing worse than a hovering writer."

-Later that night-Kensei's house

_ arrived at Kensei's house at 7 o'clock just like he had reminded her four times that day. He let her in and ushered her into the warm company of all her friends. He had left work early to come home and cook dinner for everyone. She had said she didn't want a lot of fuss, just something low-key.

Last year's birthday, which will forever be known as "Five Ways to Die from Embarrassment in Ten Seconds or Less", was an absolute nightmare. First, she burned all the food she had cooked for her friends so they'd all gone out to a restaurant. She forgot to put the cake back in the fridge and her little Pomeranian had helped himself to half of it. Next, at dinner, she had tripped over her own feet and Shinji had caught her only to declare that she was now his for the evening. She laughed it off, but Shinji didn't and proceeded to flirt shamelessly with her throughout dinner. Not only did it make her squirm, it made Kensei grumpier than usual. The worst part was when Shinji leaned over to whisper in her ear. He tried to give it a seductive lick and got his tongue piercing tangled in her earring. It took Kensei and Lisa five minutes to free him. By the time Shinji was freed, he had drooled all over her ear and neck. To top off the night, they went bar hopping. _ wanted nothing more than to drown those embarrassing moments in alcohol. She drank herself stupid and told Shuhei _very_ loudly that she would like nothing more than to ride his cute face. After that, Kensei had taken her outside for some fresh air where she retched on his shoes. _Yeah, definitely not one of the best nights, but certainly memorable._

Everyone sat down at the table and Shinji lifted his glass, "Here's to no repeats from last year's birthday celebration."

Everyone's glass went up as _ shot Shinji a smirk, "Hear! Hear!"

Dinner was a success. Everyone enjoyed the food, the wine, and the conversations. Laughter filled the room and _ felt happier than she could ever remember. Small gifts were given: pretty silk ribbons for her hair, new pens, a new journal, a book of bawdy limericks (Shinji, of course), and other little tokens from her friends.

Kensei stood up from the table, "Time for my present. Close your eyes, _." He disappeared into the bedroom as she closed her eyes.

He returned a few moments later. "OK, open your eyes."

She opened her eyes to find him kneeling next to her chair with a tiny Pomeranian puppy in his large hands. Tears flooded her eyes as he placed the pound and a half ball of white and gray fluff in her hands, "Kensei! I – I can't believe you did this!"

A month ago, her beloved Pomeranian had died of old age. She had been inconsolable for two straight weeks and Kensei had nearly gone out of his mind from all the crying. He knew how much that dog had meant to her and how much she loved it. He knew getting her another one would only lead to the same ending in fifteen to twenty years, but as she had said, the grieving was nothing compared to all the love, laughter, and memories. So, he'd gotten her another dog, hoping that this would heal her heart and make her happy again.

Seeing her crying again made him think maybe he'd made a mistake. "Shit, _, I didn't mean to make you cry."

She leaned over and kissed his cheek then gave him a big, emotional smile, "Thank you so much, Kensei. This is the best gift anyone has ever given me."

He was momentarily stunned from the contact of her lips on his cheek. Shinji chose that moment to pipe up. "You sure that's a dog? It looks more like Kensei finally shaved his back." That drew some chuckles as Kensei shot Shinji an "eat shit" look.

She noticed the puppy had on a black leather collar with some manly silver studs and a tag with writing on it. She peered closer and read, "My name is Scribbles. If found, please return me to Squad 9." She looked at Kensei, "You named him Scribbles?"

"You can change it if you don't like it."

She smiled at him and he wanted to melt. "It's perfect."

\- Three Hours Later -

The party was breaking up. After the birthday cake had been cut, served, and consumed, most of _'s friends left. Those that stayed a little longer were Kensei's Visored friends and Shuhei. They had gathered around the dining room table to drink, have snacks, and play cards. It felt so much like a family. _ loved it. The conversations, the joking, the laughter…it made her feel warm and comfortable.

She was the one that bid the last few "goodnight" as they left. Kensei was asleep on the couch with Scribbles curled up on his chest, daring anyone to try to touch either one of them. The sight brought a giggle to her lips. _Gods help me, that cute little shit is going to be just as grumpy as Kensei!_

When the house was empty, she started cleaning up. She had just finished putting the last of the dishes into the dishwasher when she heard Kensei walk up behind her. She turned to find him leaning against the counter with Scribbles tucked against his chest. "You didn't have to do that. It's still your birthday," checked the clock, "and you have an hour left to enjoy it."

"You've made this a great birthday, Kensei. Thank you." She reached over and rubbed Scribbles.

"You're welcome."

Silence suddenly filled the room. The way he was looking at her made her fidget. His voice sounded a bit gruff, "We, ah – we need to talk."

"That sounds ominous. Is something wrong?"

"Not exactly." Scribbles squirmed in his hand. "We better take the fur ball outside for a bit."

They went out into the back yard. Kensei put the puppy down and off he went to sniff and do his "business". _ sat down on the porch. Kensei sat next to her. They both watched the puppy.

"So, what's on your mind?" She asked.

"Us." Her head turned, but he kept his eyes on Scribbles. "Don't say anything, just hear me out." Her stomach dropped, she felt sick. _Oh no, here it comes. He's going to say we need to spend less time with each other. He's found someone he wants to be with and he can't have me hanging around all the time._

"What's her name?" She asked, fear making her ignore his request.

He turned an annoyed look on her, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"The woman you're interested in. That's what you're going to tell me, right? You've met someone and we need to stop seeing each other so much. I get it, you don't want her to get the wrong idea. I'll just see you at work and – "

He cut her off, "Stop! Just stop! You have no idea what I was going to say. See, this is why I told you not to say anything and just listen! You always jump to the wrong conclusions!"

"I do not! If anything, you – "

"I'm in love with you, dammit!" He practically roared it for the whole Seireitei to hear. All his carefully chosen words, all the thinking he'd done, all the practicing…all of it rendered useless because she could push his buttons at record speed. He should have known.

She blinked, too shocked to speak. Her ears were ringing. _I'm having a stroke…because there is no way Kensei Muguruma just said that he's in love with me…_

"_, please, say something." He said.

"Why?" She blurted. That one word seemed to snap her out of her stupor. "I mean, for godsakes, Kensei, you're – you're all _you_ and I'm just – just _me_." He started laughing, he couldn't help it. Her voice dropped a bit, "You're wonderful, you're gorgeous, you're – " She shook her head and he stopped laughing. Her eyes lifted to his. "I'm not beautiful. I'm not skinny. Why the hell would you want me?"

It was his turn to shake his head. "You still don't see it, do you?" He sounded exasperated. "You still look in the mirror and hate what you see." She started to interrupt, probably to protest, but he shut her down. "Be quiet. You've said enough. For now, you need to listen." He reached over and cupped her cheek. "_, you are beautiful. You were beautiful the first night I met you, and you're even more beautiful now." His thumb caught the tear that escaped. "You need to stop looking for perfection in the mirror because to me, you're already there." He leaned closer to her, stopping a few inches from her face, "And to answer your question: why the hell would I want you…because you are everything that I want and more." His lips brushed hers, his hand slipping around the nape of her neck so he could draw her closer. "We belong together, _. Tell me you feel it too."

Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. "Kensei, I – I've always loved you. I've – " Whatever she was going to say was cut off when his lips captured hers. He wasn't about to waste another second, he was claiming what was his.

She expected his kiss to be like him: forceful, powerful and a little impatient. But, it was slow and gentle. His lips and tongue mapped the contours of her lips, stopping to gently suck at them, inviting her to join him. She was a bit clumsy at first, trying to match his motions. He chuckled, a soft rumble in the back of his throat that sent a chill of excitement across her scalp and down her back. He gathered a handful of hair at the nape of her neck and gave it a little squeeze, enough to make the spot tingle. Her lips parted on a soft gasp. Agonizingly slow, he dipped his tongue in to caress hers. Just as slow, his mouth slanted over hers again and again, making her head swim, yearning for more. A thought skittered… _can someone orgasm from just a kiss? If it's possible, Kensei is certainly the man for the job!_

Scribbles interrupted their kiss. The puppy had climbed into _'s lap and was making howly, woofy noises. She was in a haze thanks to Kensei's mind-bending kiss. He picked up Scribbles, stood, and held his hand down to help her up.

Her mind cleared and she was instantly reminded of the night they'd met. It seemed like a lifetime ago a different woman had taken his hand that night. She realized just how much she had changed. This time, she didn't balk, she took his hand and let him pull her to her feet.

His eyes held hers, "Stay with me tonight."

Four words…that's all it took to make her heart flutter in her chest like a caged bird. She didn't trust her voice so she nodded. He smiled, a hand on the small of her back guided her back into the house.

In his bedroom, Kensei had an area sectioned off for Scribbles, complete with doggy bed, pee pads, food, water, and toys. He deposited the puppy in the area before he moved to draw _ into the room. She'd paused in the doorway, still not believing that this was happening. But, it really was Kensei pulling off her clothes, not some dream. Her top and bra were gone. She pulled at his shirt, intent on getting to his skin. He yanked it off then molded her to him, focused on intents of his own.

The contact of skin on skin set her nerve endings on fire. It had been so long since she'd been touched that when he palmed a breast and lowered his lips to her nipple, she rocked against him with a moan. She ran her fingers through his hair, planting kisses on his temple and cheek. He steadied her with one arm around her back, his other hand moved down to explore her stomach. She flinched and his head snapped up. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "I – I still…" Pink began to stain her neck. "I still – have some problem areas. I'm embarrassed for you to see me naked."

He knew she still had body image issues. A thumb and forefinger on her chin made her face lift to his. "Hey, I _love_ you…that includes all these," his eyes strayed down and he smiled, "gorgeous curves. Trust me, you have nothing to be embarrassed about." His words seemed to reach her. He saw her eyes take on the look of resolve he'd come to know so well – he saw it every time she had to tackle a problem physical or mental. Her hands fisted at her sides for a moment before she turned her back to him and began dragging her leggings and underwear down. _Gods help me, that ass…_ he thought as raw need gnawed at his guts and made his pants too constricting. "Holy shit…" it escaped on a hiss. He couldn't keep his hands off. "Babe, you have got the best ass I have ever seen."

She giggled as his breath tickled behind her ear before pressing a kiss there, "You sure about that? I mean, you have lived a long time."

He gave her butt cheek a smack, just enough to pepper it with a sting. She gasped, shock in her eyes. He lightly rubbed his fingertips over the area and grinned as the contrast in sensation made her shiver. His voice took on a huskier tone, "Are you trying to say I'm an old man?"

"Certainly older than me." She turned and reached for his pants. Once she had them and his underwear off of him, she was confronted with Kensei Muguruma in all his naked glory. He was a sight to behold. Just looking at all those muscles made desire pool in her belly, heavy and hot. He knew when her eyes finally dropped to his erection because her jaw dropped and she stared unabashedly. It seemed that the man wasn't just gifted with big muscles. All thought left her and she was left with very few words in her vocabulary. "I didn't know they could get that big."

He laughed – hard. That choked off when her hand closed around his long, thick length. His eyes blazed and a low growl started in his chest. The gravelly rumble in his voice sent liquid heat through her veins. "You're playing with fire, babe."

She tore her gaze away from where her hand was stroking him, "So burn me."

He picked her up, two steps taking them both onto the bed. He kissed her long and hard, settling on top of her. Her legs parted to wrap around him, wiggling to rub herself against him. But, Kensei had an agenda and he was not going to deny himself what he had been dreaming of for over a year. He wanted _all_ of her…her scent, her taste, her responses to him, her voice filling the room, most of all, his name on her lips when she lost herself. And he wasn't going to stop until reality had ground his fantasies to dust.

His lips seemed to be chasing something as he moved them over her skin. He took his time, exploring every texture and curve from her neck to her knees. He spent extra time between her belly button and her hips. He had to make her understand that those curves she hated so much were special to him and that he loved them. He wanted her to look in the mirror and remember his kisses on her skin.

Kensei's hands behind her knees folded her legs up until her feet were on his shoulders. He rubbed the backs of her thighs as he focused on his new goal. Her scent filled his nose and he began to wonder just how long he could hold out before burying himself in her. For certain, he couldn't keep his mouth away from her perfect pink flesh. With a growl of raw lust, he kissed her lips, his tongue dipping into her just as slow as he'd caressed her mouth. She tasted sweet, like a piece of fruit, and he knew without a doubt that he would never get enough of her.

She choked on a sob of pleasure and arched. Kensei was giving her the most intimate kiss she'd ever experienced. The maddeningly slow way he was working his tongue over her had her gripping his biceps as his hands held her hips. She clawed at his arms every time he licked her clit then sucked. Over and over again, he fell into a rhythm of slow circling licks, lips that kissed and sucked while his tongue pulsed against her bundle of nerves. He seemed to know when she was on the verge of orgasm because he would drop down to her core, giving her enough of a break so he could start over. He loved the way she was writhing under him, the desperate sounds she was making. He was waiting for her cry out for him and he wasn't going to stop until he heard his name tear from her throat.

 _He's not going to stop. Sweet heaven, I can't take much more…but I want to feel like this forever._ "Kensei, _please…_ " That was it, the urgency in her voice was music to his ears. He layed siege to her clit again and she reached for his hair. He caught her arms and pinned them to the bed. He'd only been savoring her before, now he had a purpose and it echoed in his movements. A slight increase in pressure and speed sent her an unspoken message: _Get ready to scream, babe._

Her legs began shaking to the rhythm of his tongue and lips. Unable to do more than pant and moan, she gave herself over to the pleasure he was lavishing on her. "K – Kensei…oh my god…right there!" She curled her foot to the back of his head, trying to keep him right where he was. He started laughing, the vibrations of it ratcheting up the sensations on her clit. "Ke - Kensei!" Her body bowed under him as the screaming started. He had to let go of her arms to hold her thighs so she couldn't twist away from him. Relentlessly he drove her through her orgasm until he felt her relax in his grip.

_ felt like she was floating until Kensei's body covered hers, anchoring her back to the bed. His hand buried in her hair as his mouth was hungry on hers. She wrapped her legs around him, tilting her pelvis up, a silent request. He reached down and guided himself into her, propping up so he could watch as their bodies joined for the first time. Not about to miss out, she propped up on her elbows to watch too. Her action sent a thrill through him, her mouth hung open anticipating the moan that would surely follow once he was completely sheathed. He stopped to give her a wicked grin, just the tip of him inside her. Her eyes flicked up. His eyes burned with passion, "Tell me you want me." He leaned over, a mere inch from her lips. "Tell me that you're mine."

There was something more in his eyes, something fragile. She realized he needed more than just the physical satisfaction of sex, he needed her to open her heart, he needed her love. Her chin lifted just a bit, her eyes vulnerable and searching his. "I love you Kensei. I've always been yours, and I don't just want you, I _need_ you."

A snap of his hips made them one. Their groans were nearly identical. He leaned his forehead against hers, holding completely still. He hadn't expected her to be so tight. He pulled back and her head went back, exposing her throat. He pressed his lips there as the return stroke made her moan low and deep, the reverberation made his lips tingle. "You feel so good." He gritted against her throat, his strokes slow and searing. Bracing himself on his forearms, he whispered against her lips telling her how much he loved her, how he couldn't imagine a world without her. She ran her fingers through his hair, bringing his lips to hers, her legs shifting to take him deeper.

 _Branded…_ the thought skipped at the edge of her mind. _This is it, he's the one, there will never be anyone other than him for the rest of my life. He's made me his right down to my soul. He told me I was playing with fire…_

Nothing mattered except the sighs and groans of pleasure and their words of affection. Touching, kissing, rocking against each other…in no hurry to do more than stay suspended in the private world that existed in the space between them. The gentleness of his tongue as he kissed her was a sharp contrast to the unrelenting pace he kept. Time lost all meaning as everything fell away and they were left with a connection that went far beyond the physical.

After what felt like hours, _ was trembling under Kensei as an orgasm snuck up on her. She clung to him; her only lifeline in the tempest of uncontrollable pleasure and emotions that were threatening to consume her. Her inner muscles were clenching him so tightly, he grunted, "Holy shit, babe, I – " Whatever he was going to say was lost as his body betrayed him. Face buried in her neck, he came so hard he thought he might pass out. He just barely kept his weight from crushing her as he collapsed, spent and euphoric.

Her fingers traced the muscles of his back, enjoying the extra bit of his weight on top of her. She dragged her nails lightly between his shoulder blades and up to the nape of his neck. He shivered, his cock pulsing inside her. Her small gasp made them both snicker. He nipped and kissed her jaw. "You up for some fun in the shower?"

He got up, pulling her with him toward the bathroom and grinning. She giggled, "So, watersports now, eh?"

_ found out quickly just how fast Kensei could recover. Her soapy hands sliding over his body made him sigh in pleasure. When she turned them to the task of washing his cock, it only took two strokes for him to be hard and heavy in her palm. He gave her no time to play. He turned her around, pulled up one leg and entered her from behind. She yelped as her arms flung out with no where to catch herself.

Kensei's strong hand pressed to her chest, catching her easily. He eased her up until her back was against his chest, his hand sliding up to rest at the base of her neck. His voice was a rumble in her ear, "Don't worry, baby, I've got you." He let go of her leg, using his free hand to reach around between her legs. Two fingers slid against her clit and her head fell back against his shoulder. The hand on her throat secured her with gentle strength as she turned her head to kiss his neck. She held on to his arm as he began moving in and out of her with careful strokes, going halfway then snapping his hips to drive deep. The angle at which he held her had him hitting a spot that made her practically singing his name, echoing off the tile and driving him into a frenzy.

Higher, higher…his body, his fingers, his lips against her ear, his hands caressing her clit, her throat, her chest, her hips, her ass…he was driving her to the breaking point. He was everywhere, overwhelming her senses. This time when her orgasm began, he was determined to ride it out. His thrusts changed, lost cadence as her body beckoned him to follow her. The last waves of her climax coaxed a shuttering release from him.

Once he'd regained his wits, he set to work washing her hair and body. She stood, grinning and pliant under his care. She tried to help him wash, but he wouldn't let her, knowing that if she got her hands on him again he'd be taking her on the vanity next.

Clean and sated, they crawled into bed and cuddled up together. Kensei loved how she fit so perfectly next to him. His fingers rubbed her back as hers rubbed across his chest, slow, lazy patterns more about comfort and a reluctance to stop touching each other.

Scribbles had escaped from the puppy pen and was whining next to Kensei's side of the bed. He reached down with one hand and scooped the puppy up, depositing Scribbles on his chest. The puppy started licking _'s nose and she giggled. She petted Scribbles as Kensei tucked his hand behind his head and watched them. Knowing he would wake up to her body next to his in the morning made him feel amazing. He couldn't remember when he'd felt this content or happy.

"We need to talk," he said, drawing her attention up to his face. "I want you to move in."

"Are you sure?"

He drew her close enough to kiss her lips. "Yeah, you and the fur ball belong here with me."

She smiled at him, "Yeah, we do."


	3. Chapter 3 (Renji Abarai)

Chapter 3 – "Tailor-made Just for You" (Renji Abarai)

Renji Abarai. _ _ knew his body better than anyone else. After all, she was his tailor. And he kept her busy. It seemed that she saw Renji all the time. From ripped sleeves during training to shredded shihakushos from battle, she'd seen it all. Some days she wondered if Renji were the busiest soul reaper in the Seireitei. Whenever he would mention a new mission coming up she would order material for a new shihakusho, work on it while he was away, and have it ready for a final fitting on his return because the word "mission" meant his clothes were not making it home intact.

For over a year, Renji had been going to _ to tailor-make his shihakushos. He went to her because she was the best and everyone in the Seireitei knew it. However, once he'd gotten to know her, he began looking forward to his appointments with her for a different reason. She was lovely and funny, and made him look and feel like a million kan. It only took him three months to completely fall in love with her. But, it took him six more months before he worked up the courage to ask her out to dinner.

Since then, Renji and _ had been a casual couple. They usually spent their evenings with a group of his friends, eating dinner and hanging out. She was his "plus one" wherever he went socially. He was content to be casual and get to know her outside of her shop while letting her get comfortable in his world. It also didn't hurt that she loved making clothes for him, and she had a true gift for fashion. They were, hands down, the best dressed couple in the Seireitei.

His favorite evenings with her were when they were alone. She would invite him for dinner and they would cuddle up to watch a movie. They would fall asleep on the couch and he always got breakfast and a smooch before they both left for work the next morning.

Last night had been a night they spent alone. It had also been the first time Renji had kissed her… _really_ kissed her – none of the sweet pecks and smooches they'd exchanged for the last three months. He'd branded her with that first passionate kiss. Between his skill with that glorious mouth of his and the way she felt about him…she knew without a doubt that her heart belonged to him. And, she was terrified.

Renji arrived at _'s house for dinner. He was still walking on clouds after the soul-searing kiss they'd shared last night. So when she met him at the door looking like she had been crying, alarms went off in his head and his stomach dropped. He followed her further into the house. "Babe, what's wrong? What happened?" He feared someone had died because _ wasn't a woman who cried easily.

She stopped in the living room, lifted his latest, tattered shihakusho and looked at him with teary eyes, " _This_ is what's wrong. _This_ is what happens."

Renji looked baffled. _Why the hell is she crying over a ripped shihakusho?_ "O – K." He reached for her, but she pulled a step away. His look darkened; something was very wrong. "Tell me what's got you so upset, _."

Her face was a mask of emotional misery, "Last night!" Shook her head, "That kiss…what I feel…"

Seeing her struggle was like being slowly sliced open a millimeter at a time. He had a sneaking suspicion of what was bothering her and he wasn't going to let her escape this relationship, not without a fight. _Time to lay it on the line._ His eyes bored into hers and he closed the distance between them without touching her, "I love you, _, I have for a long time."

It was like an explosion had gone off in her head. His words echoing over and over, beating at the door to her heart. She shook her head again, "I'm terrified, Renji. Terrified that one day _this_ ," dropped the shihakusho on the floor, "will be all that makes it back from one of your missions."

Renji had guessed correctly. He tilted her chin up to make her face him. "I won't lie and say that that will never happen. But, I can promise you that I plan on being around for a very long time. My only goal has always been to get stronger and that's what I've done." The backs of his fingers stroked along her jaw, "_, no one is promised a tomorrow." He dropped a soft kiss on her lips, "All I know is that I want you to be with me when all those tomorrows come." His eyes held hers. "I promise you this – whether it's only for a day or for a millennium, I will love you to my last breath."

The shimmer of her tears shone like diamonds as they spilled down her cheeks. Renji enfolded her in his arms – this time she didn't pull away. She leaned into him, her face buried against his chest, her hands clutching his shirt. He heard her mumble something against him.

"What?" He asked.

She leaned back, lifted her face, and spoke around a sniffle, "I said 'I love you, Renji'!" The smile that dawned on his face was so bright she felt like a fist was squeezing her heart.

He leaned in for a kiss and she shifted just a bit to make him miss. "I – I need to wash my face. I'm all snotty and icky."

"I don't care."

"I do!" She pulled an impressive evasive maneuver that wiggled her right out of his grasp and had her on her way to the bathroom.

He laughed and followed her. A memory of their first picnic in the park rose up in his mind. He had chased her that day too. She had squealed like a little girl when he caught her and tickled her neck with nibbling kisses. They had talked for hours that day about everything and nothing.

He leaned in the bathroom doorway as she blew her nose and then washed her face. "You're beautiful when you cry." His gaze settled on her butt as she bent over the sink, "And when you bend over."

"Oh yeah, snotty nose, puffy eyes, blotchy skin – every woman in the Seireitei is grinding her teeth in envy."

He chuckled. "So, what movie do you want to pretend to watch tonight?"

She turned around and lifted her dress up and over her head then let it fall on the floor. Her bra and panties were simple, white lace. His eyebrows reached for the sky. "No movie tonight, just –" Renji moved so fast she never got to finish the sentence. His lips were on hers, hot and hungry, his hands lifting her easily.

He carried her into her bedroom, put her on the bed, and then stripped off his shirt so fast she heard two stitches pop as it whipped over his head. She giggled when he got tangled in his jeans, but that choked off when his underwear hit the floor. Two words sprang to mind: _Wow. Huge._ He stood still and let her look her fill. The heat in her gaze stoked his desire even more. "Oh, my stars…" She was on her knees, reaching for him. "Renji Abarai, you are one extremely gorgeous man." All those muscles…those beautiful, hard muscles. From top to bottom, Renji was a living, breathing work of art. And he was hers – all hers.

He smiled at her then sucked in a breath like he'd been burned when her hands gently stroked his erection. She pressed a kiss just below his belly button and felt him twitch in her hands before she grinned up at him, "I see the carpet matches the drapes."

Renji laughed as he leaned forward, forcing _ to move back. He crawled onto the bed with her, trying to get her where he wanted her. She was having none of that. She pulled his supporting arm out from under him, sending him onto his back with a little "whuff". "Ladies first, Lt. Abarai."

"My thoughts exactly," his nimble fingers released her bra in one quick movement, "I can't wait to taste you." The bra was flung blindly over the side of the bed with one hand as two fingers on the other hand hooked the lacy fringe of her panties.

She scooted her lower body out of his reach. "I meant _I_ get to taste _you_ first." She kissed the palm of his hand. "From the first day I saw you, I've wanted you." Her fingers began to trace the tattoos on his arms, following them to his chest. "You have no idea how many times my fingers have ached to trace your ink; to learn the shape of your muscles, to feel your strength, to know that no one gets to touch you like I do." She leaned over him, lips lowering to kiss and lick the tattoos on his chest.

Renji shivered. He couldn't speak, emotion had clogged his throat. What she just said – what she was doing with that sexy mouth…if she went any lower…

She kissed her way down his chiseled abs. The moment she passed below his belly button, his hips lifted in anticipation of her reaching her goal. She chuckled against his lower belly, a mere inch from the tip of his erection. Shifting, she put herself between his legs facing him – better access for her, better visual for him. Her eyes held his, "Every time I knelt before you during your alterations, I thought about this..." Her lips skimmed down his shaft. He gripped the sheets and chewed his lip. She rubbed her cheek on him all the way back up, "…how it would feel as you slid past my lips…"

Renji's face was a study in sweet agony. He still couldn't speak thanks to _'s seductive words scattering his thoughts. Her touch was nearly unbearable, overloading nerve endings that were screaming for attention. Then, her mouth, slick and warm, pulled him in. His hips rose. A guttural groan. He had to see…

 _Mistake!_ Seeing her lips around him as she slowly worked her mouth up and down, tongue exploring just as slow – he nearly came right then. "Fuck…" it was a huff of breath as he threw his head back onto the pillows to focus on anything that would keep his control in check for longer than a few more heartbeats. She hummed against him – a happy sound that vibrated and made his legs shake.

Lightning flashed, painting the room silver-white. Renji began counting…1…2…3…thunder rolled. _'s tongue rolled over him and he moaned. Her hands were stroking where her mouth couldn't reach. The gentle sound of rain mingled with his heavy breaths.

A double, blinking flash…1…2…thunder rolled. She held him still using the underside of her tongue along with her lips to rub over the head of his cock. Her focus narrowed to just below the tip in the one spot that drove him crazy with pleasure. He was squirming despite her hold on him. Wild, frenzied, his brain was short-circuiting and all he knew was that he needed to touch her. He tried to sit up but only managed to get halfway. He leaned on one elbow, the other hand reached for her. His hand found purchase on the back of her neck, a handful of hair pushed out of the way. He _had_ to see…

A blinding flash, the room went bright white, burning afterimages of her over him…1…thunder rolled. She took him back into her mouth. Watching every move she made, he gasped, panted. Sucking hard and fast like trying to guzzle her favorite drink through a straw – he was sliding back and forth in her mouth, over that oh-so-wicked tongue that kept his sweet spot stimulated. His legs were trembling to the rhythm of her sucking. He was bucking, jerking, ragged breaths all saying the same thing: his control was about to shatter.

The room lit up as a peal of thunder shook the house. Renji came with an incoherent shout, half growl, half yell. _ took his essence with ease, making sure he was finished before gently releasing him. She nearly giggled when he went dead-weight and didn't respond to his name. She peeled the hair away from his face, brushed the backs of her fingers over his cheek…nothing, not even a twitch.

Another clap of thunder rattled the windows. The power went out. _ sighed and groped in the dark for the candle on the nightstand. She spent a few minutes lighting candles around the room before taking one into the bathroom for a quick clean up. A few gulps of water and a swish of mouthwash took her less than a minute.

Upon her return, she crawled back into bed to wrap herself around Renji who seemed to still be recovering. She stroked his face and planted a few soft kisses across his forehead. Feeling her hands on him and her skin against his, Renji finally opened his eyes. She was grinning at him, "Did you pass out?"

"Maybe, a little." He stroked her face, "I have never had anyone do what you just did to me."

"You're telling me no one has ever given you oral before?"

"No, babe, I mean no none has ever done it like you. Holy shit, that was amazing." He kissed her, tasted mint. "Why do you taste minty? How long was I out?" He looked around, "What's with all the candles?"

She snickered. "Mouthwash. Long enough. And the power went out."

He nuzzled her neck, a chuckle rumbling in her ear before his voice turned sultry. "Mmmm – making love by candlelight. Perfect." His lips trailed along her jaw to her chin. A slight tilt of her head and he kissed under her chin then down her throat. She pulled the hairband out of his hair letting it spill free. The silky strands slipped through her fingers as he moved lower. Turning her onto her back, the candlelight made her skin glow. "_, you are so beautiful." His hands were large and her breasts were a pleasant handful. His mouth was warm as he covered a nipple. She sighed and began to arch into him. He sucked and a jolt of sharp pleasure shot straight down her body. He moved to the other one, not leaving until he got the same result.

Renji's hair dragged over her skin as he kissed her stomach, swirled his tongue around her belly button and then sank lower. _ was starting to writhe under him and he hadn't even taken her panties off. "Such pretty panties, maybe I should leave them on you."

She looked down at his teasing grin. "Pull them off, rip them off, cut them off. I don't care as long as they are _off._ The only thing I want on me tonight is _you_." He laughed, a wicked glint in his eyes as they peered at her through his long bangs.

He kissed and licked across the edge of her panties from one hip to the other. A finger hooked in the middle of the lacy fringe and dragged them down, his lips following. She lifted her butt so he could pull them off. They were quickly whipped down her legs and tossed aside. He dragged two pillows down to stuff them under her lower back and butt before settling between her legs, easing them over his shoulders as he got comfortable. He planned to be there for a while.

She was eager for his touch, fidgeting, wishing he would finally put his mouth where she needed it most. But, Renji occupied himself with kissing her hip, above her pubic bone, the crease where her thigh met her pelvis. His hands were busy on her skin: rubbing, kneading, distracting her as he moved from spot to spot. She tried to move into his touch, but the constant shift in sensations gave her no chance to focus. He could smell her arousal and hear frustration her moans. Watching her claw the sheets made him smile against her skin. "Baby, you smell so good. Can I taste you?"

Her voice broke on a hoarse plea, "Yes, Renji, _please_!"

She expected him to dive right in, but even in this he was still going so slow. He licked a fleshy outer lip, giving it a sucking kiss. She bucked a bit. He repeated the action on the other one. She growled, a sound that damn near bordered on annoyance. Renji swallowed a snicker. He licked lightly over her slit, skimming outside, making sure he didn't push in any further. A tremor ran through her legs. She whined, begging without words.

"Look at me, _." His voice was a bit husky.

Propped on the pillows, she was on display with Renji hovering over her. The sight of his broad shoulders dwarfing her spread legs made her feel small and delicate. It also sent a fresh wave of heat to pool inches from where his mouth was poised. His hair was cascading over one shoulder to pool on her belly, right where a knot of need had formed. She reached for him, her hand threading into his hair, a light scrape of her nails across his scalp. He pressed a kiss to her wrist before dropping his lips to her tender flesh. She let out a small gasp as she watched his lips press and spread against her. A moan followed when she saw and felt his tongue slide over her clit and then down to taste her. He hummed, she trembled. His little groan of pleasure – she tasted like heaven.

Renji's eyes never left hers. But, she wasn't looking back, she was watching his mouth. He made a show of it, long drags up with his tongue before sliding the back of it over her. His lips kissing and gently pulling at her had her panting. Gripping his hair seemed to excite him more. He sped up, his tongue flicking fast at her clit had her legs echoing the rhythm. Her fogged mind managed one thought: _How the hell can he move his tongue so fast?!_

Just when she though she couldn't take anymore, he stopped. One hand crept around her hip. Two fingers spread her folds a bit wider and pulled up to expose the little bundle of nerves. Soft and slow he licked. Her back arched. "Oh my god, Renji…" she hissed. Sharp and intense at first, the pleasure reached a whole new level. Then his lips encased that sensitive nub, his tongue worked magic she never knew existed. There was nothing to compare it to, _nothing_ had ever felt this good in her life.

Renji watched _'s face. She looked like she was in pain, but the moans, mewls, and shuttering breath told a different story. He could feel her whole body pull taut and her legs were shaking. She'd let go of his hair to dig into the pillows under her, a white-knuckled grip. _Any minute now, she's gonna snap…_

Like a stray thread in a tapestry that had been plucked, she completely unraveled. A deep groan tore free as she lost all control. Her body was rocking, her voice was filling the room, moans had given way to cries of pleasure that carried his name. And Renji was enjoying every second of it.

He waited until he felt her relax before he indulged in her taste. He was well on the way to addiction, his thoughts consumed with one word: more.

She slowly regained her scattered senses and realized that Renji was still camped out. She met his gaze, quirked a brow, "Enjoying yourself down there?"

He lifted his head and grinned, "You taste so amazing." He stood up on his knees, wiped a thumb across his bottom lip and licked it clean, "I couldn't help myself." He pulled the pillows from underneath her and tossed them by the headboard. He sat down, legs folded and crossed. "C'mere."

_ shifted onto her knees and crawled into Renji's lap. He put a hand on her hip to guide her, the other holding his shaft so that it entered her smoothly. They both groaned as their bodies slid together as one, chests pressing together, arms circling each other. He gritted against her lips, "Ungh…you're so tight…"

She sucked his bottom lip, both her hands framing his face as she went completely still. She tilted his head just a bit to allow her to slant her mouth over his. He let her take over, mirroring her motions. The more she kissed him, the wilder she got. Nipping, whimpering, her tongue and lips consuming them both in a kiss of fire. He could feel her inner muscles flexing on him and he growled into her mouth. His hands gripped her butt and started pumping her against him. That broke the kiss. Her head fell back and she moaned, "Oh, Renji, yessss…" Her hands moved to his shoulders to steady herself as she rode him. Moments later, he felt her clamp down, muscles squeezing him as an orgasm washed over her. He held her steady until the last waves passed.

Lips on her neck, he felt the steady beat of her pulse. She brought her face back to his. Fingers wove into his hair, nails dragging, moving to hold the back of his head. He shivered. Eyes soft, full of raw emotion, she spoke, "I love you, Renji."

Something primal stirred in him. One arm around her waist secured her as he swept her under him. Her head landed near the edge of the bed. His kiss was feral as if he couldn't contain the wild feelings she'd stirred in him. His hands grabbed the edge of the mattress using it to get leverage to surge hard into her. The first thrust made her gasp and her eyes fly wide. The onslaught that followed drove her to into a frenzy. She clawed at his back, toes curling as he raked himself over every sweet spot inside her. His teeth scraped her neck, her collarbone, her jaw. Grunts and the stutter of his breath near her ear sent a tickling shiver down her back. She clung to him, desperate to live in the moment as long as possible.

Her hitching breaths and moans were punctuated by one word at a time, "More," grunted on a deep drive. "Yes!" That wonderful long slide of him on the retreat and return. She managed to string together, "P – Please, d – don't stop!" a moment before a wail of release crawled up her throat. Her orgasm hit like a bomb had gone off – a sudden rush of emotions and sensations all gathering in, then exploding out with a shockwave.

Her body was demanding him to follow her. The tight, unrelenting spasms inside her gripped him and he couldn't hold back. His climax pulled a garbled cry from his chest, somewhere between a curse and a roar.

Renji's head laid on her shoulder, face pressed to her neck. The only sound in the room was their heavy breaths slowly returning to normal. Aftershocks sent tremoring pulses from her inner muscles to his sensitized flesh drawing little gasps and sighs from them both. Her hand on the back of his neck was rubbing, soothing. His hand traced her neck, across her shoulder, and down her arm. He lifted her free hand to his lips, enjoying the softness of her skin. He marveled at how small her hand was compared to his, yet so strong despite its size. Years of working with her hands around sharp objects had left a number of tiny scars all over them. He called them her mini battle badges; shears instead of swords, needles instead of kido. It always made her giggle when he would dramatize her tailor mishaps as if they were battles.

Renji slipped free of her body, replacing the loss of connection with a deep, loving kiss. _ was a bit startled when he got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. She heard something fall in the sink, a muttered curse, then running water. When he returned he had a warm washrag in his hand. She put her hand out to accept it. "Ah, thank you."

"I got this." Was all he said before cleaning her up. Her cheeks flamed bright pink. He couldn't hold back a laugh, "All we just did with each other and _this_ is what makes you blush?" Short on comebacks at the moment, she stuck her tongue out at him. He leaned over and sucked on it, getting a surprised squeak in return. "What? I thought it was an offer." She giggled and admired his perfect ass as he returned the washrag to the sink in the bathroom.

Back in the bed, he settled next to her, drawing a cover up over them before curling into her. He stroked her face, her hair, her neck, her back. Her hands were just as busy on his skin. Relaxing, their touches were comforting, loving. Slow kisses and soft sighs lulled them closer and closer to slumber.

Before they could give in to sleep, Renji looked into _'s lovely eyes. "I love you, _ _, with all my heart."

His words were reflected in the emotion in his eyes. She smiled at him. "I love you, Renji Abarai, with all my heart."

A sweet kiss filled with love sealed the unspoken promise of forever.


End file.
